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Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors |  | Author: Heather T. Forbes
Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute, LLC
List Price: $19.95
Buy New: $16.96
as of 11/25/2009 03:32 CST details
You Save: $2.99 (15%)
New (5) Used (12) from $16.49
Seller: Amazon.com
Rating:  56 reviews
Sales Rank: 7588
Media: Paperback
Edition: 5th Edition
Pages: 144
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.5
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.5
ISBN: 0977704009
EAN: 9780977704002
ASIN: 0977704009
Publication Date: February 10, 2006
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Product Description
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control covers in detail the effects of trauma on the body-mind and how trauma alters children's behavioral responses. The first four chapters help parents and professionals clearly understand the neurological research behind the basic model given in this book, deemed, 'The Stress Model.' While scientifically based in research, it is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with severe behaviors. The next seven chapters are individually devoted to seven behaviors typically seen with attachment-challenged children. These include lying, stealing, hoarding and gorging, aggression, defiance, lack of eye contact, and yes, even a chapter that talks candidly about how parents appear hostile and angry when they work to simply maintain their families from reaching complete states of chaos. Each of these chapters talks in depth on these specific behaviors and gives vivid and contrasting examples of how this love-based approach works to foster healing and works to develop relationships, as opposed to the fear-based traditional attachment parenting approaches that are being advocated in today's attachment field. The authors end with a Parenting Bonus Section: true testimonials from parents who have been able to make significant changes in their homes with this model of parenting, giving real-life examples of how they have been able to find the healing, peace, and love that they had been seeking prior to working through the techniques outlined in this book.
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 56
 Beyond Con,logicic and control November 18, 2009
Mum of 2 (Australia)
I have only read 1/2 so far ,but i am very impressed.
Adoptive mother of a girl adopted at the age of 12years.
It talks about all the issues related to attachement issues, eg lying, stealing , control and lack of consequences by your child.
I love how it gives tradtional attachment views and a new alternative view.
Personally it has given me the out look to decrease my reactions and stress levels to my every day ( the above world).
and i have only read 1/2
kerry ,Australia
A handbook for families to understand not only their child, but themselves too October 15, 2009
@HolisticMom (San Diego)
When I first met Heather T Forbes, I interviewed her on my parenting podcast. I was so impressed that I then read her books and it was like a light went on inside of me. Finally after 32 years of being alive someone could explain to me why I was the way that I was.
I had many of these behaviors growing up (lying, stealing, hoarding, gorging, aggression, defiance) in private. To the outside world I was beautiful, highly accomplished and friendly. However, my first marriage crumbled, and only because of my second husband's unconditional love and understanding was I able to finally stop stealing. But when I became a parent I was horrified at how reactive I was to my daughter (our IVF biological child, no trauma).
Reading this book lead to so much self understanding and healing for me - it was a GODSEND. Heather puts on a Mom's Conference several times a year that I went to in May of 09 and my life did a 180 from then on. I was able to heal and forgive deep abandonment issues from my childhood. No longer am I reactive the way that I was before I shifted to the Beyond Consequences parenting paradigm.
Several years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar and put on meds. I do not feel that it was accurate, and I am no longer on medication to deal with my moods.
Granted I have also changed my diet so that I eat more raw dark leafy greens and fruits daily, something I didn't before and that has impacted my outlook on life tremendously. But as Heather says in her online parenting classes based on this book, all the good food in the world can't help you if you don't truly love yourself, deep down inside, unconditionally.
Heather's work will help you understand what that truly means and how to give it to your children.
I have used this understanding and these methods with my almost 3 yr old for the past 5 months with huge success. I think this book should be retitled to apply to all human beings! Thank God I have the tools to give my precious child the most loving and respectful upbringing while respecting and loving myself as well.
I can't recommend this book enough.
THANK YOU HEATHER!
 Great help in understanding my own behavior! July 8, 2009
LCCNM (Menlo Park CA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I originally read this book to better understand my nephew and neices who have had a tough time recently. However, I quickly realized that this book applied to me as well. Working from a scientific and evidence based approach, I began to understand why I reacted the way I did to small issues (a life or death response which left me upset and mystified). The authors explain the fight or flight response in detail, and discuss how to be with someone who is responding in this way to small stresses, like "please turn off the tv." The approach is not airy-fairy "do these 10 actions and everything will be fine." This is hard work but practical and do-able. It is changing my life and my relationships.
Beyond Consequences, Logic & Control April 30, 2009
Diane L. Clark (Cumberland, WI USA)
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
This book was about love! This book was about seeing children from a love-based perspective. It was about responding to children with love (which allows us to think clearly and rationally). It was about healing. It was about providing emotional safety for children with trauma histories. Heather T. Forbes & B. Bryan Post, the authors of this book, address some of the most crucial and demanding issues faced by parents of children with histories of disrupted attachments.
This book taught me how to uncover my own fears, step into my child's inner world, and respond to their behaviors with love. By confronting my own fears, I am better able to help my child confront his or her or fears. The book emphasizes that we should parent children from a place of love and compassion rather than fear and control.
Easy reading!
I recommed this book to EVERYONE!
EVERY mom and dad should read this!!! March 26, 2009
A. Trent (STL, MO, USA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book changed our lives!! We had an adopted son who caused continuous upheaval in our house almost every day. He often seemed uncooperative, unmotivated, and uncaring. In reality, he had problems that we didn't even understand WERE problems. Once we understood the problems, AND understood how to deal with the behaviors caused by those problems, we were able to help him (and ourselves). Our home life is now happy, peaceful, loving, and enjoyable, for ALL of us!! ANY parent should read this, but any ADOPTIVE or FOSTER parent MUST read this!! (Vol 2 is WONDERFUL, too)
Showing reviews 1-5 of 56
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